I miss having a big, bustling, busy family around me. I realized that this past Christmas when everyone kind of split up and showed up over a period of a couple of weeks instead of all at once on Christmas Day like we used to do. I spent an entire hour on the phone (a rarity, indeed) just talking to one of my cousins in Texas. I cannot fathom his graduation from high school this year, but it’s happening. He sounds ready for college. A heck of a lot more ready than I was. And I just really miss him and his little sister (who isn’t so little anymore - sixteen???!!! WHAT?) - we’ve missed so much of each others lives ever since they moved down there. And I have so many memories of them when they were little, but so few of them as teenagers and growing more and more independent by the minute.

And then for the youngsters in the family, I got to spend an entire afternoon with my cousin’s two adorable and ridiculously smart kids. The youngest is learning how to write and so she struggled to write my name in her journal. Her older brother built an entire Lego kit car in that whole afternoon, and then continued to beat me at card games for the rest of our time together. They didn’t want to go home, just like when my cousins and I were their age (“Can we stay just a little longer? Five more minutes, PLEEEEEASE?”). Playing with them isn’t a chore anymore - it’s the most pleasant thing in the world.

And then when the rest of the family gathered around the table after lunch and played our card games, it was just like old times. We were all on the same playing field, no snide political comments, no goading me into a defensive mode, no judgmental looks appeared on any faces. We were laughing and teasing and joking just like we used to do.

The house misses all that action and happiness. Not to say there isn’t happiness in it now, but it’s a lot smaller. No big families with kids in tow to show up every weekend for Sunday dinner. No kids thundering up and down the stairs, plotting devious tricks up in their parent’s childhood bedrooms. Nowadays, Gram has the TV on all the time, just to have some background noise in that quiet, quiet house. 

My mom told me that my great-grandma once said: “The days are busy, bright and cheerful. But the nights can get awful long in an empty house.”